My Light in the Darkness
by HarmonyGames
Summary: To celebrate one month of being reunited with Anna, Elsa plans a special day for her sister. But one of her surprises goes horribly wrong killing her sister and leaving her all alone once again. Elsa is left by herself to deal with the grief of losing Anna, and the knowledge of knowing that if she were to have stayed away from Anna, her sister might still be alive.
1. Sister Day

Elsa got up early in the morning, stretching out her arms and yawning as she sat up in her large bed. The sun was beginning to shine through a small break in the drapes. It was the beginning of a lovely morning in the Kingdom of Arendelle and the Queen had a wonderful day planned for her sister. In honor of the day marked the first month the sisters had been together again. Elsa swung her feet over the edge of the bed and placed them on the cool ground, she could already smell the breakfast that the castle staff were preparing, the air smelt of small cakes and eggs, cooked meats and fresh fruits. She walked over to the wardrobe and took out her favourite blue dress. Quickly getting ready she began brushing out and braiding her hair. The Queen made her way to her sisters room, smiling brightly she had been planning this day for weeks and was ecstatic to share it with Anna.

"Wake up Anna" Elsa sang softly putting a hand on Anna's shoulder. Anna groaned slightly and pushed her sister's hands away "It's time to get up sleepy" Elsa laughed throwing the warm blankets off the Princess' body. Anna moaned in response and tried grabbing for them. "I have a surprise for you!" Elsa sang tauntingly "But you're going to have to get up!" Anna stirred a bit and sat up quickly the promise of a surprise etched in her mind.

"A Surprise!" She squealed with delight "What is it?" she asked a certain light in her eyes.

"You will just have to wait and see!" Elsa said handing Anna a dress "Now get ready!" Elsa said a large smile plastered on her face Ann quickly jumped out of bed grabbing the dress from her sister's hands and running behind the changing screens to throw it on. The Princess came out from behind them skipping towards Elsa. "Now what" Anna asked bouncing up and down with excitement.

"I've got big plans for today, because one month ago. You and I were finally reunited, one month ago I got my little sister back and I couldn't be happier. My life would be a dark place without you Anna, so today we celebrate…. Us." Elsa said holding Anna's hands. A smile fell over the Princess as she embraced her sister tightly.

"Aww, Elsa." Anna spoke in a loving tone. "I'm so happy you are happy now, I mean before. You were so sad and it was heartbreaking to always see you so sad and well now we're together again and we're both happy and nobody has to be sad anymore….." Anna continued talking quickly.

Elsa smiled taking Anna's hand "Come on, I had a special breakfast prepared just for you, chocolate pancakes and your favourite fruits." The Queen grabbed Anna's hand and slid down the railing of the staircase. Anna followed right behind her jumping off and the last moment the Queen landed on her feet, the princess tried to jump but lost her balance and toppled into the Queen both girls falling down on one another.

"Oh Sorry Elsa!" Anna gasped covering her mouth as she promptly jumped up.

"You little….." Elsa glared Anna stared at her sister a little fearful clutching her hands close to her chest and cowering a little The Queen was busy trying to look angry yet instead began laughing "Sorry, Sorry I can't do it." She paused a few moments to catch her breath after laughing so hard. "I'm just teasing you Anna everything is okay I'm not hurt." Elsa wrapped her arms around Anna and hugged her tightly. Anna laughed along with her sister. "I knew you couldn't be mad at me." The princess stated "You love me too much. I was just playing along."

"Oh were you now?" Elsa called out tilting her head a little.

"Yup!" Anna replied confidently "Just playing along!"

"Your majesties." One of the castle staff said bowing slightly before returning to his upward stance. "Your breakfast is prepared and ready in the Dining hall."

"Thank you." Elsa responded elegantly.

"Thanks!" Anna smiled a happy bounce still in her step as she skipping towards the dining hall pulling her sister alongside her. "Come on Elsa I'm getting hungry now!"

The scent of chocolate cakes filled the air, Anna loaded up her plate with food and began stuffing her face full of the little chocolate cakes, and her favourite fruits. The Queen had a few of the pancakes some eggs and a little dish of fruits before wiping her mouth clean with a napkin and setting it down on the table to be cleared.

"Mhmm, this is so good Elsa." Anna said with a mouthful of pancake. "We have to have this again sometime." She took another one and put in on her plate digging in right away. "That was incredible." The Princess leaned back in her chair, full of food. "Thank you Elsa that was a great Idea." Smiling she looked over to her elder sister. "What's next?" Anna questioned eagerly hopping up from her seat. She twirled around excitedly and grabbed the back of her sister's chair. "I can't wait to see what you have planned I mean my birthday was incredible and you must have something AMAZING planned for us today!" Anna spoke delighted.

"I've got a whole day planned for the two of us!" She said "You'll just have to wait and see what's coming up next!" The Queen took her sister back upstairs to her room, Elsa opened up her wardrobe and took a box off of the shelf at the top. It was wrapped up all nicely in a bright paper with flowers painted on it. She took it down and handed it to Anna. "A little something for you." The Queen smiled "You're the best sister I could ever ask for, and your happiness is so beautiful and bright."

Anna pulled out a little golden sun shaped necklace. "Oh Elsa…" Anna said admiring it "It's beautiful… but I didn't get you anything."

"You don't have to get me anything Anna, It's quite alright." Elsa smiled helping her sister put the necklace on. "Now I have one thing to go check on…. You stay right here, I'll be right back." Anna watched as Elsa walked down the halls all regal and sophisticated, just like the perfect Queen should be. The Princess promptly snuck down the hall into Kristoffs room.

"Hey Kristoff!" Anna said in a whisper opening his door.

"Hey there feisty pants, enjoying your day with Elsa?" He questioned.

"Well you see that's just the thing, She got me this present and I don't have anything for her and well… I would really really like to get her something that I can give to her and the end of the day but with all the crazy stuff she has planned for us today I doubt that I can get away long enough to go and buy her a gift." Anna spoke quickly walking into his room she started writing something on a paper and the desk. "Will you please go and get this for me to give to her." Anna handed Kristoff the paper. "Oh! Sorry I got to go Elsa will be back any minute now and she told me not to her room." Anna sped talked and then dashed out the door and back to her sister's bedroom.

"Anna!" Elsa's voice called out. "Come on everything is ready time to go!" The Princess followed Elsa out into the hallway, down the staircase and out into the castle courtyard. "Wait, what are we doing there isn't even anything here." Anna commented. "Are you sure that we're even in the right place?" The Princess questioned looking around for anything that may have changed. Elsa laughed looking at her little sister so confused.

"Oh, we are in the right place alright." Elsa said a wide smile on her face. "Alright guys!" she called "Bring it out" Two of the castle guards came out leading a horse who was pulling a beautiful carriage. "I had this idea for weeks and I thought we could use a new brightly covered carriage to ride around in." Elsa smiled. "First we're going to go back inside and pack a lunch then head up the mountain a ways to a little hidden lake. We'll have a picnic lunch and spend a little time before heading back home and reading your favourite book by the fire with some hot chocolate and mini cakes." Elsa smiled at her sister who was staring awestruck at the new carriage.

"Oh Elsa!" Anna gasped "It's fabulous!" she exclaimed running her fingers over the intricate designs. "I can't wait to take a ride in it…. It's so beautiful, the colors are all my favourite ones! It's so summery!" Anna turned back to Elsa and ran back towards her hugging her tightly. "I love it." Anna smiled "Thank you." After sitting it the carriage for a while testing out the comfortable seats Elsa took Anna back inside where the castles kitchen staff had plates of yummy food lying out on the long dining table.

"We're going to make our own sandwiches and pack our own picnic lunches!" Elsa said handing her sister her own little picnic basket. "You can pack whatever you like in yours." Anna breathed in the wonderful aromas of all the foods. Different breads and cheeses were laid out all orderly on plates. Vegetables in dishes looked fresher than any others she had seen before and the scent of freshly baked cookies loomed around the dining hall. Anna packed at least five sandwiches into her basket a dish of both fruit and veggies and almost the entire plate of cookies. "Anna!" Elsa scolded as she watched the princess dump the plate into her picnic basket. "You're going to get a stomach ache if you eat all those cookies in one day."

"I'll share!" Anna spoke defensively protecting her picnic basket full of food.

"Alright then." Elsa said picking up a pitcher of lemonade and two glasses she carefully placed them into the basket. "Let's head out. It'll take a while to get to the lake and I don't know how long I can hold off eating this delicious smelling meal." Elsa laughed gently picking up her basket off the table and walking outside with her sister. Elsa loaded the picnic baskets into the carriage and the driver helped both royals up.

"Ready to go your majesties?" he asked.

"Yes thank you." Elsa replied politely taking her sisters hand. "I'm so glad we were able to do this. I've just been so busy as the New Queen of Arendelle that I haven't had much time for fun or to do anything besides work and meetings." Elsa said. "I feel bad that I haven't been able to spend much time with you, at least not as much time as I would've liked too. But today, today is just you and me." Elsa smiled pulling her sister closer. "I wouldn't want it any other way."

The carriage soon took off and the two girls were riding up a mountain. "Hold on Your majesties these areas can get a little rocky at times." The driver said the carriage hit a few bumps but nothing too big and as they approached another rock the driver thought nothing much of it continuing down the mountain pathway.

Until he hit it.

All three of them were tossed from the carriage flying out of it. Elsa could hear Anna scream as she flew from her seat, the echo of pained crying was etched in her mind and she slowly tried to comprehend what has just happened.


	2. Death Day

**Just a warning this is where it starts getting sad**

* * *

Elsa continued to hear crying but she was in a half awake half asleep state not alert enough to realize it was Anna who was screaming in pain. She put her hand to her stomach then raised it up to her face looking at it to see it stained red, the smell of hot metallic blood filled the air. The Queen moaned in pain choking on saliva a little bit. She turned her head to see Anna who was sobbing heavily trapped underneath the carriage. Elsa turned onto her stomach and slowly pushed herself up then crawled over to Anna. She took in the sight of her little sister, bleeding and trapped under the heavy carriage. "This is all my fault." Elsa whispered to herself. "This was my idea." The Queen sobbed. She tried to dry her tears so as not to concern Anna too much and managed to sort of pull herself together. Just enough to try and comfort Anna. Elsa whispered softly placing her clean hand on Anna's forehead in."Shh... Shhh you're alright." Elsa spoke quietly trying to comfort her sister. The Queen noticed that she was bleeding badly herself through her icy blue dress. She tore up the long train and wrapped it around her stomach in attempt to get the blood to clot. Although she was in pain it was nothing quite as bad as her sister's current condition. There was no way to get Anna free, trying to remove her from underneath the heavy wood would only cause her to bleed out faster if proper treatment wasn't available and being out in the woods no resources were on hand.

"Hey Anna, I'm right here." Elsa took her sisters hand squeezing it tightly. She saw a constant flow of tears pour from Anna's eyes. "Nothing bad is going to happen, they're going to find us soon and you'll be just fine." The Queen assured as she tried to get a better look at Anna's injuries. The Princess chocked on sobs and tried to hold back tears biting her lip. Anna was still bleeding badly trapped under the carriage, whenever she moved more blood would stain her dress.

"El... Els...Elsa." She coughed out in tears "I... am I going to die." Anna asked crying "I'm.. I'm going to die aren't I?" The Princess sobbed. Squeezing her eyes shut. The smell of blood was overwhelming, and the only noise that could be heard were Anna's pained cries. The princess was in such pain that the crying only grew worse as time went on.

Elsa shook her head squeezing Anna's hand. "No, no you're not going to die Anna, you're going to be just fine Sweetheart." Elsa assured she turned around a moment hoping that by chance someone would come. "HELP US!" Elsa screamed at the top of her lungs. "PLEASE SOMEONE." The Queen shot snow high up into the air hoping somebody would see the signal and come to their rescue.

Elsa turned back to see Anna bleeding quite badly. The Princess squeezed Elsa hand. "Elsa I'm going to die." She said again. "Elsa I'm dying." Anna coughed out "I don't feel very good, I'm so tired." The Princess began growing sleepy she struggled to keep her eyes open. Elsa could see the life slowly slipping out of her younger sister. Her eyes were losing their usual sparkle, and Anna was white as a ghost.

"No... No.. No you're not." The Queen wiped her tears "No you're not Anna you're okay." Elsa smiled softly "I won't let you die... You're okay." She whispered. "Please just stay awake." Elsa cried "Please just stay with me a little longer we need to get you some help." The Queens breathing hitched she chocked back several sobs and attempted to put on a brave face. "You won't die Anna, any minute now, the guards are going to find us and bring us back to the castle. They'll get you out of there and get you some help okay? Don't you die on me, don't you dare die on me Anna. You stay awake, just a little bit longer."

"Elsa please." Anna spoke quietly "I... I love you so much." She said softly. "But look at me, Elsa…." Anna said sadly "Look at what happened, I know you want to help me but." Anna paused "I don't think they can fix me."

The Queen shook her head at her sister. "No, no I refuse to let you die, you can't die on me Anna, today was supposed to be fun, it was supposed to be special. "Anna this is all my fault, I was the one who planned this and had this carriage built. I wanted to take you out and to spend time with you!" Elsa sobbed "You can't die, it's all my fault we ended up like this Anna…. If you die it will be all my fault. Please stay with me. You can't go."

"Elsa." Anna whispered trying to stop her tears. "Elsa, it doesn't hurt anymore, and I know that's not good. I know it means that I'm going to die." The Princess said softly. "It's not your fault Elsa, you weren't driving the carriage, and you didn't plan for this to happen. I…. I was having a wonderful day with you."

"But it is my fault, I planned this day. I was the one who had the new carriage built and I was the one who planned the ride up into the mountains. If I had never done those things you would be safe and sound back home. Reading a book or sleeping in, having a picnic in the garden with Kristoff." Tears poured down the Queens face as she tightly held onto her little sisters hand. "I'm so sorry Anna, if I'd just stayed away from you then..."

"That would be no life at all, you gave me the best month of my entire life and I was with you the whole time. I wasn't alone anymore. Please don't regret that Elsa." Anna said "I love you so much." She paused to take a breath. "Goodbye Elsa." Anna said breathlessly. "I love you so much, thank you for opening up to me again. You're the best sister anyone could hope for." The Princess opened her eyes and looked directly at her elder sister. "I love you so much Elsa." Anna whispered again softly. "Never forget that."

Elsa shook, her face stained with tears. "I love you too Anna please don't go" she said quietly. "Please..." She said squeezing her sister's hand. But Anna made no response the princess' fragile hand slipped out of her sisters. "Don't go." Elsa said again in tears. "Please Anna, please don't go I can't live without you, we were hardly together, and you can't leave me. Please don't die little sister, please don't go I need you." Elsa chocked out. Tears ran down her face at a constant rate, snow flurries picked up speed around the Queen as she mourned her sister. "Anna you're my best friend I don't have anyone else." Elsa whispered. "You can't die." She said through tears.

"Over here!" A loud voice called "Over here I found her"

Elsa turned around to see some of the castle guards. "We're going home." Elsa said to her sister. "Anna please wake up we're going back home they're going to help you." She shook her sister by the shoulders. "Anna wake up!" Elsa screamed. She felt a hand rest on her shoulder she looked up at the man the hand belonged to as he stretched out the opposite one towards her helping her up.

"Your Majesty." He said "Come on, you're bleeding we need to get you back to the castle to see a doctor."

The reality sunk in at that moment. She realized that her sister wasn't moving, her chest was no longer rising and all the color had drained from her face. The Princess had bleed out right in front of her sister.

"My sister is dead. I killed her."

"It's my fault she's dead" Elsa spoke monotonously. "It's all my fault." The Queen shook traumatized due to the events that occurred only moments before. Her head spun with thoughts, every moment of her sister's death played back in her mind. None of it seemed real, it seemed as though Anna's death was a terrible nightmare and that she would wake up any second. The Queen watched as some of the men worked to free the Princess from underneath the carriage. One of them picked her up gently in his arms Elsa broke away from the man that currently held her and ran over to Anna. Her breathing hitched and a lump formed in her throat seeing Anna soaking in blood. The second man then took off his cloak and put it over the Princess' stomach hiding her injuries from the Queen.

"Queen Elsa, we are very sorry for your loss." He said sympathetically.

Elsa looked back the man carrying her little sister, they mounted the horses and one helped the Queen up on to his while the other clutched Anna tightly to his chest. Elsa held onto the man with a deathly grip as they raced back towards Arendelle.

"Elsa! Anna!" One of the ladies called. "My goodness what happened to you, let's get you both inside."

"Anna is dead." Elsa spoke without emotion. "Anna is dead." She said again louder.

Gerda, one of the eldest ladies in the castle came forward and took Elsa's hand putting an arm around her. "Come one Elsa dear let's go get you cleaned up." Gerda told her speaking kindly. "The Doctor Heidi is in her office. She should take a look at you, you're bleeding."

The Queen watched as the men handed Anna's lifeless form to two of the ladies waiting there. "Anna is gone, Gerda I killed her it's my fault." Elsa repeated. "It's all my fault that she's dead if I had never…." Elsa sniffled and began crying again. "If I had never let her back into my life she would still be alive. If I let her marry Hans and if I just stayed out of everything and been good she would still be here." Salty tears poured down her face staining her cheeks. Elsa began hyperventilating "I can't" Elsa moaned in pain her legs giving out, the Queen collapsed on the ground. "My poor little sister." She gasped for air through large sobs her chest rising and falling quickly causing the clotted blood to break open and begin bleeding again.

Kai eventually found the Queen and his wife picking up Elsa in his arms he brought her to see Heidi "Elsa and her sister were in an accident, the Princess sadly did not survive her injuries were far too severe. Queen Elsa's however are much less life threatening." Kai explained placing Elsa down on a little table where she continued crying loudly. The Queens dress was cut off and a blanket pulled up to her waist. "I'll have to stitch up her side a little bit here, it didn't cut too deep but it does look like the wound was healed slightly then re-opened at some point." Heidi grabbed a vial of something white. "This will make you sleepy Elsa, so you'll feel no pain while I work on you." She took the vial with fragile shaking hands and downed the entire thing in seconds. A light feeling washed over her body as if hundreds of pounds were instantly lifted off her shoulders. A ringing sounded off in her ears and her eyes fluttered shut.

Opening her eyes she found herself completely surrounded by the most angelic light. As her sight adjusted she saw her little sister, void of any injuries or blood. "Anna? You're okay!" Elsa smiled wiping tears from her face but as she got up to race and hug her sister. She found she could not even touch her. "Anna?" Elsa questioned "Anna what's happening? Am I dead?" The Queen questioned.

"You're not dead only dreaming." Anna hummed.

"How are you here?" Elsa inquired. "You died, I watched you die."

"As I said, this is only a dream." Anna began fading from her sight.

Startled Elsa screamed "Anna wait! Don't go yet!" she yelled at her sisters fading form. "Please don't go yet, I need you." Elsa whispered softly as the Princess disappeared into the air. The Queen dropped to her knees and began crying as the pure light faded becoming an ever growing pit of darkness.

Elsa fluttered her eyes, her side and stomach both ached. The bright light in the room irritated her eyes when she tried to open them. "Hey Elsa, how you feeling?" Gerda questioned taking the Queens hand. "Good news, Heidi was able to fix all your injuries. Your shoulder was dislocated and you had a couple gashes on your side and stomach. She says you should recover within the month." The elderly lady smiled down at Elsa.

"What about Anna?" Elsa asked "Did they try to fix her? Did they even try for her?" Tears formed in Elsa's eyes.

"Elsa." Gerda sighed "Your sister didn't make it, she was cold when they brought her down from the mountain and she had lost far too much blood. Her heart stopped working, she wouldn't have been able to breathe."

Elsa nodded. "It's all my fault she's gone, it's all my fault that she died. The new carriage and ride up into the mountains was my idea."

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 **Thank ILYSM**


	3. Funeral Day

**Elsa, if any of you are wondering is hallucinating her sister. You may be able to figure out why, but if not it will be revealed in time.**

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"She looked up to you, you know Elsa." Gerda told her smiling softly she noticed Elsa softly crying, there were tear stains on her cheeks. The Queen forced a small smile.

"We were hardly even together, I got to spend a month with her and then... Then I lost her Gerda, my little baby sister. My only family." Elsa sniffled and began sobbing. "I just... I just..." She began heavy sobbing and hyperventilating. "Anna." She felt a lump in her throat as Gerda tried to comfort her.

"Elsa, Anna loved you very very much."

"I know." The Queen whispered. "Lie back down dear let me check over your injuries okay..." Gerda began looking over Elsa's injuries she tucked her back into bed. "Don't worry about anything Your majesty the Royal Court will take care of things around Arendelle while you recover. Try and get some more rest okay?" The elderly lady smiled and left the Queen's room.

Elsa began to shut out the world once again. She stopped talking to people when they entered her room, she stopped leaving her room to go for walks or visit the village. Without anything to do, as she was excused for her duties as Queen for three months. Her life was depressing and growing far worse with each passing moment, and it was about to grow even more melancholic. Anna's funeral day, it was finally here and Elsa barely managed to pull herself out of bed that morning.

Gerda helped her into a dress and pinned her hair up neatly. "Thank you." She mumbled softly it was the first words shed spoken in such a long time.

"Of course dear."

Tears came running down her face. "How am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to stand there in front of Arendelle and talk about Anna?" Elsa sobbed clutching a wrinkled note in her hands. "I wrote it all down but..." She sniffled a lump in her throat. She opened her mouth to speak but a heaving sob came out instead. "I had one month with her...  
One month and then I just... I ruined it." She turned away. "It's my fault I'm  
Alone it's my fault Anna is dead." She cried burying her face in her hands. "If I wasn't the Queen I wouldn't even show up." Elsa muttered. Snow hung above her head and around her shoulders, softly blowing around the room.

"Your majesty are you ready to go, we're waiting for you."

Gerda walked to the door. "I'll bring her down shortly, she needs a few minutes." The kind woman shut the door and walked up to Elsa grabbing the Queens cold little hands tightly. "Elsa, you are not alone. I will never let you be alone. You're like a child to me, you're kind and beautiful and generous. I could not imagine having anyone rule Arendelle but you." She paused "You're so loved Elsa, I can stand up there with you, but it is time to go."

Elsa was still in tears. "I miss her already, so very much and it's not even been a week yet... I don't know if I can live without her much longer... I just feel empty, there's a hole in my heart... I can't..." Elsa's breathing hitched. "I can't imagine the rest of my life without Anna, I was supposed to walk her down the isle on her wedding day, we were supposed to spend Christmas together. We were so happy, I don't understand why I have to be alone. Why my parents had to die? Why Anna had to die." The Queen took a deep shaky breath. "The day I reunited with Anna was the happiest day of my life, I had her back. I had family again, one month later I experienced the worst day of my life, I lost her. I lost Anna. I remember the light leave her eyes I remember her voice and the last words she said to me. I remember her crying and telling me she knew she was dying... That she could feel it. But I will soon forget her voice and how she looks I will not grow old or spend holidays together with my sister. But I will always remember, until I die. It was my fault." Elsa continued sobbing heavily. "I never should have let her back into my life and she would be alive, she would have a chance to be happy and be married and have children... I took it all from her, I took her chance at happiness."

Gerda shook her head. "She was happy with you Elsa..."

The Queen shook her head. "But it didn't last." She sighed "Now look what happened to her... She's gone because of me. I did that!" Elsa got a little louder "EVERY NIGHT!" She screamed "I THINK ABOUT HER." She collapsed onto the floor a hyperventilating sobbing mess. "And how I killed her how I took her out on that carriage ride and she got stuck underneath it... Because I just had to plan a stupid special day for the two of us."

Gerda coaxed Elsa up to her feet and down the grand staircase of the castle then out to the small church. The Queen kept her head up trying to avoid eye contact with anyone as she walked to the front of the room. Although the the Royal paid no attention to it the church was decorated with hundreds of brightly coloured flowers, roses, tulips and daisies were some of the selections the florist had chosen. The only things Elsa set her eyes upon was her sisters tiny body was visible in the small casket. Elsa stopped for a second and looked at her baby sister. Motionless, eyes closed yet ever so gentle and beautiful. Nearing her body Elsa dragged her fingertips gently across the Princess' cheek. "I love you." Elsa whispered "I'm so sorry Anna." Elsa still had the wrinkled paper clutched tightly in her sweaty hand. New tears made their way down her face visible as she walked up to the podium and turned to face the crowd that had showed up to Anna's funeral.

"Good-morning everyone, thank you for joining me today. I apologize for keeping you all waiting." She spoke softly through tears. "To you, Anna was just your Princess, some of you never met her, and some of you received her generous love and support. She loved helping people, she loved everyone she met." The Queen took a shaky breath. "Anna..." The Princess' body caught her eye and she stared at the motionless girl. It was as if Anna was only sleeping. Elsa stepped away and closer to Anna. "I'm so sorry." She sobbed caressing her sisters cheek. "Anna I'm so sorry." She sobbed breathing heavily. Elsa looked up at everyone around the room. "I'm so sorry everyone." The Queen bolted towards the door a cold feeling lingered in the room once she left. Mumbles and murmurs filled the room Kristoff finished speaking for Elsa and several guards went out to retrieve the ran towards the back of castle she sat the rocky shores of Arendelle near the water.

* * *

The same light filled the air as it once did when she first returned home from the incident.

"Anna?" Elsa questioned

"You're dreaming again, you've got to accept things for what they are Elsa." Anna spoke angelically.

"But it's my fault you're dead." She replied in tears "please can't you take me with you." Elsa begged reaching out with her sister.

"That is not what I am here for." Anna told her.

The light soon faded and so did Anna.

* * *

Elsa now was aware of the crashing waves and sound of voices approaching her. The men that had gone out looking for the Queen found her behind the castle sitting on a rocky shore near the water.

"Your Majesty, you are required to return to the..." He began but was interrupted by Kristoff who came running over to Elsa dismissing the Guards. "I'll take care of her." He spoke "return to the castle." Kristoff sat down beside Elsa and wrapped his arm tightly around her. He didn't speak for the longest time the two of them just sat out by the water listening to the waves crash against the shore.

"Kristoff you loved my sister. How can you even stand to be around me." Elsa spoke in tears "it's my fault she's gone." The Queen paused "It's all my fault I just wish... I wish I'd never become a part of Anna's life. Anna should've let me die, you would've saved her from freezing. Or I could've just agreed to let her marry Prince Hans... I could've stayed out of her life and she would still be here, alive and happy and she would've been with someone she wouldn't have been all alone." She slowly looked up at Kristoff. "I just... Took her whole life away, her chance to be married and have kids to explore the kingdom and travel new places." The Queen sighed.

"You must stop blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault. None of it was, everything we do has risk to it, there's a certain danger in ever activity. You planned a wonderful day for Anna. You couldn't see how it was going to end you didn't plan for anyone to get hurt."

"Everyone keeps telling me that, but it was my idea... My idea to go riding up in the mountains." The Queen told him looking up slightly Kristoff could see the tears in her eyes, the ones streaming down her face and the tear stains on her cheeks.

"And you keep saying that Elsa, you've told everyone about how it was your idea. But don't you remember, it was your idea to host a wonderful birthday for Anna and it made her happy, it was your idea to plan a special day for Anna and it made her happy. You didn't know that it would end how it did... It's not your fault I will never blame you." Kristoff assured her.

The blonde nodded "Will you take me back please." She squeaked out hanging onto Kristoff in order to pull herself off the ground.

Kristoff took Elsa to the spot her parents were buried and to where Anna would now rest. Kristoff held onto her keeping her upright. Elsa looked down keeping her eyes off the mourning crowd and her family's gravestones. A soft Snow fell around her. Kristoff held her tightly rubbing her arm comfortingly. Besides the fact that it was snowing he could tell she was devastated from her muffled sobbing she was trying to hide it by covering her face with her hands she was trying to appear strong and not make herself look weak. But he knew the Queen was weeping, and when the small burial service concluded he slowly brought Elsa back inside and helped her to her bedroom.

"Get some sleep Elsa, a little rest will help." He came back just minutes later with a glass of water. "Drink this, you'll get dehydrated if you don't."

Two days later Kristoff found Elsa curled up on a couch in the library by a small fire. Clutching a tiny cup of hot tea. "How are you doing?"

"Better." She replied "Side still hurts and I miss my family of course, but I'll get used to being alone again. I was completely isolated for three years and the ten before that the only people I ever saw were my parents and the occasional staff member."

"We can get you some pain medication for your side but I'm  
Afraid there's not much I can do about missing your family." He sat beside her. Watching the flames flicker in the fireplace the curtains were drawn and no natural light was steaming through the windows the only light was provided by the fire. Silence hung over the two of them as Elsa spoke.

"You can leave the castle if you want too, you don't have to stay here and look after me. Someone will make sure I'm not dead, you probably have a life to get back too." She said monotonously not looking at Kristoff instead keeping her eyes locked on the dancing flames.

"If you don't mind I would love to stay here with you. You've given me a wonderful place to stay, a job. I will be here so long as I am welcome."

Elsa turned to him giving him a warm smile. "Thank you." She said softly.

* * *

Night fell and Elsa began to dream of her sister again.

"Hello."

"I've been wondering if you would appear again." Elsa told her. "I've missed you."

"I know." Anna spoke she was surrounded by such a pure light it was almost blinding. "But you are still holding on, you must let go Elsa."

"Must we talk about this? Can we not just talk about our lives? How are you? How are our parents?"

"That is not what I am here for."  
Anna told her.

That was the last thing Anna said before disappearing again.

* * *

Elsa and Kristoff spent many of the coming days together. Every Tuesday and Friday they would bring flowers down to the resting places of Elsa's family.

* * *

 **Please Review this story I would love to hear your thoughts. So sorry the update took so long. I've been very very busy as of late.**


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